As one of those girls that never really dreamt about white floufy dresses, long veils or flower arrangements, I gotta admit that wedding planning is actually pretty fun. So much fun that its got me wanting to throw more parties, though on a less multi-continental and complicated scale, but nevertheless.
The boy and I have been together for over 3 years so I like to think we know eachother pretty well but coordinating this thing has shed a lot of light on what I like, what he likes and how we work on things together which is really well, fun! It’s interesting cause I come from a semi-conservative family and have been to tons of super traditional weddings,whereas the boy was raised quite liberally and the only wedding he’s attended is one with me. This means I’m loaded with preconceptions of what a wedding should be and he’s completely unencumbered, leading to a lot of conversations that went like this:
“we have to do X!”
“because that’s what you do at weddings!!”
That’s right. I was a closet traditional bride! Who knew. (I have the boy and OBB to thank for helping me get in touch with my inner freak bride)
We’ve also always prided ourselves and worked really hard at having an egalitarian relationship but I had never realized how unfair the wedding industry is toward grooms until we started our own planning.
Case in point: since our wedding is to be in Scotland and I’m currently still in the states, the boy had to take care of some of the logistics, such as scoping and booking the venue. Even though it was him at all of the meetings and his signature on the contract, the venue sends mail addressed to ME at his house. Wha..? I wasn’t even there!
I consider myself extremely lucky to have a boy who is interested on helping plan and coordinate the aesthetic of OUR special day. Seeing as he’s a designer- I was extremely excited, beyond impressed and proud of the perfectly ‘us’ invitations he designed, printed and assembled himself. And throwing out the whole ‘it’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding’ thing was SO worth it because I’d be totally lost without his fashion advice (but don’t tell my mother he’s seen the dress, she’d kill me even though she was A-OK with a seafoam green vintage one-time nightgown).
So brides! Give your man a voice in the planning so the wedding is an enjoyable and significant day for him too! He may surprise you..