For about as long as I can remember, I knew that my small conservative home town was not the place for me and in the years following high school, I moved as far away as my resources would allow. First to the opposite side of Pennsylvania, then to Wisconsin and most recently Seattle. Sidenote: Can ya tell I’m not a warm weather person?
Anyway, I absolutely do not regret leaving home but leaving my family is another thing. I always felt deeply guilty and worried about missing time with them that I’d never get back, especially my sister who is 18 years my junior and seems to be growing, maturing and doing new and infinitely cute things every time I see her. When she was first born, I dreamed of teaching her all about great indie music and imparting my love of books and helping her learn to challenge the norm. Basically being the coolest and best big sister evar.
One day it dawned on me how ridiculous this guilt was. One of the people that inspired me and I respected most was my black sheep uncle who had bolted out of this place at the same time in his life as I had. I only saw him maybe once a year at most, and yet! thats all it took for him to rock my world and make me reconsider everything I thought I knew.
So it turns out that that the best big sister, daughter, friend and *gasp* wife! I can be is the same me that isn’t going to turn down all these chances to see the world because of a silly little thing like guilt. Go figure.